Chap 1, Icebergs That Sink A Marriage Like The Titanic
Welcome to a new series on love and relationship and how to avoid relationship icebergs. Congratulations, God gave you His blessings over your marriage.
Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor of the Lord. Proverbs 18:22 MEV.
You found your husband or wife with whom you have fallen in love and want to spend the rest of your life together. Your relationship was a happy honeymoon. He was attentive. She was caring and sexy. He always wanted to be with you, and you couldn’t wait to see him. She was excited about being around you and loved the things you did. Everything was great at first, and you thought your feelings and the relationship high would last forever. But then…
You came to a crossroads in your relationship and didn't know what to do. You love him. You love her. But your communications are getting harder and harder, and you are fighting more than you can handle. If things don’t change soon, the relationship may end in divorce.
There are many trials in a relationship, but it only takes one iceberg beneath the surface to sink a relationship like the Titanic.
To digress here, a tidbit fact about how the Titanic sank, obtained from the Smithsonian website, National Museum of American History, titled The Iceberg that Sank Titanic. The excerpt says:
Titanic struck a North Atlantic iceberg at 11:40 PM in the evening of 14 April 1912 at a speed of 20.5 knots (23.6 MPH). The berg scraped along the starboard or right side of the hull below the waterline, slicing open the hull between five of the adjacent watertight compartments. If only one or two of the compartments had been opened, Titanic might have stayed afloat, but when so many were sliced open, the watertight integrity of the entire forward section of the hull was fatally breached. Titanic slipped below the waves at 2:20 AM on 15 April. The Cunard Liner RMS Carpathia arrived at the scene around two hours after Titanic sank, finding only a few lifeboats and no survivors in the 28F degree water. Bernice Palmer took this picture of the iceberg identified as the one which sank Titanic, almost certainly identified by the survivors who climbed aboard Carpathia. The large iceberg is surrounded by smaller ice floes, indicating how far north in the Atlantic Ocean the tragedy struck.
The black and white photo taken by Bernice Palmer as she was rescued was a serene photo of dark waters with a crisp white iceberg standing like a small mountain far off, but it wasn’t. It was a deadly disaster waiting to happen where no one was expecting it.
Everyone went into the ship in euphoria and celebrations. They brought their best clothes and jewels for the occasion. Life was nothing but a party until the ship hit a hidden iceberg. Then suddenly, it became about survival and scrambling on the sinking ship until many drowned. A marriage can be seen the same way. Euphoria at first, then attempting to save your dying marriage. All you need is a lifeboat, and perhaps you can get a new perspective on life and love.
In all relationships, trials do come. How you respond to the tests will make the difference between steering clear of the iceberg or crashing into it.
Test of Endurance
A good relationship does not come automatically, but you must work at it just like any other work you do with great skill and time. Even if you love each other, communication and love can break down in the best marriages. Your words and actions should reflect everything to create lifelong bonds with your spouse if you expect your relationship to last.
People live longer and longer today. Your relationship should endure anywhere from forty to a hundred years if you are lucky enough to survive that long. Before getting married, you should ask yourself whether you can commit to one person for a hundred years. Or, are you telling yourself at the get-go that if it doesn’t last, you will find someone else?
The divorce rate in the western world is outrageous, where Christianity supposedly rules people’s hearts. According to CDC’s statistical analysis from 2000 to 2020, marriages have been declining consistently since 2000, with the lowest in 2020, given the pandemic. The divorce rate has been declining as well, with fewer marriages. However, divorce rates have always been between 45 to 55%. This means fewer and fewer people are getting married. If they get married, they play Russian roulette with their lives ending in divorce to create another broken home and broken lives.
Contrary to western beliefs, broken homes are devastating to children and everyday family life. It's also damaging financially and emotionally. There is no such thing as a good divorce. It impacts not only your home but the society overall like a cluster bomb. It’s rare to find a couple who only married once and stayed married until death.
People now are used up with multiple sexual partners, and sexually transmitted diseases are too commonplace. For the younger generation to find a suitable partner, they will face all the ugliness of life where their future spouse repeats the same as their parents did in divorce. Eventually, no good family will be left for a bride or groom to enter their home.
The impact of divorce is everlasting for all generations. The results of the high divorce rate are exhibiting themselves in our culture and how young people think today. More and more children are being born to unwed mothers. The newer generations are not taught biblical values because God is not in their homes. As such, God was right when He said He hates divorce.
For the Lord, the God of Israel, says that He hates divorce; for it covers one’s garment with violence, says the Lord of Hosts. Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously. Malachi 2:16 MEV.
God also considered remarriages as committing adultery if there is no Biblical justification for the divorce.
Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery. Mark 10: 11-12 MEV.
Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and whoever marries her who is divorced by her husband commits adultery. Luke 16:18 MEV.
God’s Ten Commandments forbid adultery as a sin. If you commit adultery, you are not only sinning against your marriage but God. However,
The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives. But if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will, but only in the Lord. 1 Corinthians 7:39 MEV.
Therefore, understanding the little icebergs that sink a godly marriage is essential and getting your relationship back on track to finish the race until the end.
This series is meant for those who seek a Biblical marriage and have Godly love in their home. It will not be understood by carnally-minded people who cannot grasp the ways of God and do what is required to keep a healthy and happy home.
Next time, we will continue with how to have a Biblical marriage where God is the cornerstone of your home. He is the glue to hold your household together and shape it in the right direction.
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